A side note...

    Yesterday I had my DMV moment. Renewed my license and with it received a new picture. I usually don't give a rats ass about the pic. It's not like anyone is going to see it except for the police officer that wants to see my license along with my registration and proof of insurance. After all, I'm too old to be carded anymore. So, why should it bug me this time? Because, I look like I just ate a triple, triple ( In-N-Out lingo for a triple cheese burger) and had the whole damn thing still in my mouth like a fuckin squirrel! Now, keep in mind that I am not a vain person. I know that I am no chiseled jaw, ripped, Calvin Klein model. Not even close. But I didn't think that I am a total fat ass either. They say that the camera adds ten pounds....LIARS....IT ADDS FIFTY!

    Needless to say that I spent the whole day wanting to shove my finger down my throat at the sight of food( just kidding ). So....wanna guess what my New Years Resolution is? Damn it.....  5 years in a row that this resolution takes the #1 spot........... SHIT!!!!

2 hours of my life.....

.....that I will never get back. Yes, my fellow Kings and Queens of the road, thats right, 2 hours spent with you at the Dept.of Motor Vehicles in beautiful Canoga Park, CA. Ahhhhh.... yes, it was time well spent. Well spent because I accomplished what I had set out to do. I renewed my license along with all the necessary endorsements such as HAZMAT, doubles and triples, tanker and motorcycle. The process itself wasn't painful at all. What was painful? Oh, do tell, you say? I shouldn't....it would be harsh...perhaps unkind......but you know me, don't you!?! So I will, I must........can you say RANT...I know you can!

    What was annoying? What was painful? What made me want to scream " ARE YOU FUCKIN' KIDDING ME?" just about every five minutes. Crap, where to begin......I guess at the beginning....logical right?

    1. I know it is the end of the month and the line would be long. I saw it as soon as I drove up. As I pulled in I almost got hit by some jackass who, undoubtedly, just got his license. Hey weenie, the mirrors are on your car for a reason! How about looking over your shoulder or using the mirrors before you back out of the space...Thank you and have a nice day ( code for "asshole").

    2. Proceeded to take my place in line. I remember driving there alone, getting out of my car alone, walking to the line alone, Sooooo....who is this person standing almost right next to me? So close, in fact, that I thought that, maybe, I had just acquired a new girlfriend. I looked at her for a moment, but she didn't look back at me. I knew right away that she couldn't be my girlfriend, not my type and I woke up alone this morning! I think to myself " what the fucks going on here". The line moves up a little and there she is, on my left and just a touch behind but still close enough to rub elbows. Then it begins.... annoyance starts to build as I realize that this person is invading my PERSONAL FUCKIN' SPACE! What is it with people? I understand if I am at a concert, a club, a sporting event or in a fucking chain gang but.... REALLY? At the DMV, in a line that's going nowhere fast?  REALLY?

    3. So, now I have made it inside, received my number and realize that I will be here for a loooooonnnngggg time. I look for a seat in a far off corner figuring that I will play a little poker on my phone while I wait. I find a nice little row of unoccupied seats and make myself comfortable. Well.... As soon as I sit down a lady and her 6 CHILDREN make themselves comfortable and proceed to fight and yell and scream and, and, and, and........HOLY CRAP! WHO BRINGS 6 KIDS TO DMV. It was like a damn field trip. I now feel sorry for my teachers and all the hell I put them through. Not a second later a guy, about my age, sits next to me on my other side. He has a dog with him.....WTF...he isn't blind and even if he was, what the hell would he be doing at DMV? Renewing his license? He attempts to start a conversation with me but the smell of Vodka on his breath is killing me. I know! Right now you are saying "no way". I kid you not friends and neighbors! So I leave my, once tranquil, little seat and go in search of some place to wait my turn.

    4.Finally, my number is called! I go to the appropriate window where I find a nice older lady. She is very helpful and made me smile on numerous occasions. She had a great sense of humor but then, you would have to when most of your day is filled with people being frustrated with you and shitting on you. To all the assholes that gave this sweet lady a hard time I say..... may the asshole whom almost hit me in the parking lot hit you.....and hard....jack ass.

    5. Body Odor! What is it with people? You know you are heading out your front door. Chances are, you are going some place where other people will be....you know.....like the DMV! Do you bother to take a shower? Perhaps us some deodorant ( de-odor-ant...deodorizes/ removes or prevents odor) preferably applied directly after taking a shower? Put on some fresh, or at least recently laundered, clothes( not worn since being freshly laundered )? Maybe a dash of cologne...I said dash, not half the damn bottle!? No, Nope...... not you of the green fog. You head out in all your odiforous( my own word, thank you) glory, to share with the world a smell that is equal to that emitting from a garbage truck on a 110 degree day. We, standing in line or sitting beside you at said DMV, would like to say Thank you! Thank you for reminding us to never skip a shower and always wear deodorant. By the way...lets throw in one more personal hygiene tip kiddies.If you plan on opening your pie hole and speaking words or breathing...brush your damn teeth. Funk Mouth is something that is sooo nasty. If you have gum, hey, use it!

    Well boys and girls, that pretty much wraps it up for me tonight. I would like to say thank you to you all for letting me bleed on you.....I mean lean on you. Just remember..... the person next to you at that red light might be the same jack ass or asses that I mentioned here in this rant. Now don't you feel all warm and fuzzy all over? Always remember what Bill Murray said to Punksutawny Phil in Groundhog Day....."DON"T DRIVE ANGRY!"

The Anti - Rant..........

    Well kiddies, another Christmas has come and gone. Gifts were given, time with loved ones shared, laughter, joy, happiness, kindness and care have been abundant! It seems that it is the one time of the year that we put aside whatever ill will we have and remember what is truly important in life.

    What was it like for me, you may ask ? Due to my job, I was unable to be with my family for Christmas but shed no tears for me! Vacations are dolled out on a seniority basis where I work and it just so happened that I was able to take my vacation during the first half of December. I went home and spent some time with my Mom and my brother( love ya Jon) in Idaho. We made this time our Thanksgiving and Christmas. I had a great time with my family and it didn't matter that it wasn't exactly Thanksgiving or Christmas. All that mattered was that I was able to spend time with them and that the same feeling was in the air. The tree was up, carols were being played and love, laughter, joy, story telling and happiness were abundant. My Mom has always said that we can celebrate these holidays at any time we want. As always Mom is right!!!! Love you Mom!

    I guess what I'm trying to say here is that we can and should be able to have the spirit of these holidays with us year round. Thanksgiving and Christmas may be a date on a calender but the meaning of both are so much larger than that. Being grateful and the spirit of giving, love, joy and sense of good will is something that we should carry with us all year and for that matter, throughout life. It is an model for our consideration, for us to look at and to see in it the things that we should strive to be each and every day. Should we only love or be kind to each other one day a year? Of course not! WE should be taking the spirit of Thanksgiving and Christmas with us through each and every day. Even if you are not religious, there are important lessons to be learned and what you learn can be applied to your every day life.

    So, what did I do for Christmas and Thanksgiving? I am lucky enough to have great friends! Tim and Angela as well as Makenzie and Alexis( their daughters) and the rest of the family have, kind of, adopted me!lol. They are my extended and adopted family and I love them soooo much! Every year that I can't make it home, they always have me over to their house for the Holidays. We eat, laugh, tease, laugh some more, eat some more.....all I can say is that they add so much happiness to my life and I can't imagine not having them in my life. So.. a special shout out to them for being my friends/ family and inviting me to share in the spirit of the holidays with them. I had a great time and love you all. But wait... I'm not the only one they shared their home with. Our friend Steve, oh ,cooker of the bird, and his daughter were also invited( Turkey was awesome Steve). I guess, even though none of us are all that religious, that the spirit of Christmas was bountiful yesterday and it was as it should be!

    Well, that wraps it up for me! Just remember peeps..... it is the spirit that counts, not the day on some calender. So lets make a New Years resolution together, shall we? Lets agree to a resolution that from this point on we take the spirit of these two holidays forward into 2011 and maybe, just maybe, this coming year will be better than the last because of it.

     Until next time, anti-rant on......

  

Don't Judge........

    Hmmmmm. Why is it that those two words want to make me start kicking just about anything in sight? Why is it that the thing that I usually want to kick is the IDIOT who just uttered those insane words. Damn it...Damn it and Damn it all to hell!!!! But, you see, I can't kick them. I can only look at them with a look of disgust and ask "Really?.... Really?". Damn it..... I hate the words and hate the idea and most of all the person that says them.

    Why, you ask? Let me tell you why. Mostly because the asshole, who just told me not to judge, just made a judgement about me the second before those fuckin' words left their mouth. They judged what I said and considered it worthy of that fucked up and hypocritical response. Do you see what I'm saying here? Wait...it gets even better. Not only did they judge me and what I said but from the moment they woke up they have been making judgements about people all day. I will play out a day....a day like any of us might have and you tell me if I'm crazy or if I made my case. Fair enough?

    Wake up...."Oh it's going to be a beautiful day". Do the normal grooming and crap. Proceed to the car. Husband or wife parked to close thereby making it hard to get in said car, utters the word "idiot"....ding..ding..ding JUDGEMENT....lets continue........... Backs car out of driveway and almost runs over a jogger...utters the word "asshole"....ding ding ding JUDGEMENT.....continue on, oh person of the Don't Judge.................. While stopped at a traffic light, looks at car next to them, sees a man picking his nose, pulling out a rather tasty morsel and says "ewwwwwww gross.... he is gross!". Once again we should remind ourselves that judging is wrong....ya right. But I digress....shall we continue?............ Arrives at restaurant to have breakfast with a friend. Sits at table and a rather large waiter appears to take the order. First thing in Mr./ Miss Dont Judges head?  "Fuckin ey he is fat!". Lets please try to remember that this person does NOT like it when others judge........At this point lets skip ahead to night time. Ah yes.....night time. After a full day of being non-judgemental we find Mr/Miss Don't Judge in bed with their significant other. What do you imagine that this , oh so great, person of the non judging type is thinking right now as his/her significant other is making what he or she thinks is mad passionate love to him or her? Well, lets take a look inside that beautiful mind of his/her.....wait..I have a better idea.....you look inside your own beautiful mind and try to come up with something that IS NOT a judgement( good or bad ).

    Look, judgements are made all the time. We judge guilt, innocence, appearance, intelligence, sexiness, power, wealth, importance, actions, ability, etc..etc..!

    The point I'm trying to make, kiddies, is that each and everyone of us make judgements about others all day long. As a matter of fact, the most severe and positive judgements are the ones we make on our friends and family.

    The whole point of this blog is to judge. So to the jack ass that tells me " Don't Judge" I say "Fuck you hypocrite". I will judge who I want, when I want, how I want, because I am human and thats what a human does moron.

    To all my followers.....wait.....I don't have any yet cuz you ...yeah ,YOU ASSHOLE(judgement).....haven't clicked on that little word that says FOLLOW on the right side of the screen....fuckin idiot.........

anywho.....to you I say, Go forth and Judge. Judge because it makes you human and, after all, being human is a pretty damn good gig!

Until next time....rant and roll mofo's

Sir Rantalot

    Hello boys and girls and welcome to my newest creation...Scrambled Brains and Ham!! Why, you ask, has this jack ass decided to write 2 blogs instead of just 1? He surely has no life and has way too much free time on his hands. To you I say...thats REDUNDANT GENIUS ...too much free time and no life are the same fuckin' thing! The answer is NOOOOO..... thats not the reason I have 2 blogs. I have 2 blogs because each serves a purpose. By the way... who has no life...your sitting there reading this!

    O.k.. So here is the answer. The first blog, wannajustsay.blogspot.com, was originally set up as a way to share my opinions, ideas and thoughts about news of the day. Then I woke up at 2:30 in the morning a few days back( really wanted to sleep till 5) and was pissed that I couldn't fall back to sleep. I decided to post a rant about that experience and went all out saying exactly what I was feeling in the exact way I was feeling it. Needless to say that a few readers thought that it was a little too spicy for their taste and that feedback got me thinking.I don't want to lose those who liked my first 2 posts but at the same time I want to be able to rant without losing any followers. Now both will have what they want.

     This blog will be geared towards those who like some spice in a rant. A rant should be spicy. It should be full of emotion and when it comes to emphasizing  emotion in the written word some expletives are necessary, are they not? So, lets have some fun and just go with the flow. Life is now balanced and good!

      Be well, be happy and, rant on biatches!!!!